VicNotes 8: Bala-bing, Bala-boom

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Self-Correcting

Before I move into the meat of this doubleheader – namely, the FIFA U-20 World Cup games I attended – I first have a confession to make: I was incorrect in a past update. I mean, to be sure, there are the myriad tiny things that I always manage to mistake, such as calling “crab” by the name “lobster” and so forth, but this was different. I mentioned how unlikely I was to receive physical harassment as a male waiter… figuring that women, in general, have more self-control than the puppy-like restraint of most men. (While I admittedly didn’t take alternate sexualities into consideration, this was probably a safe bet anyways. I’m just not about to be hit on. If you’ve ever seen my hair after I’ve ridden my bike to work in a helmet, it looks rather as if it was carefully styled by a yeti. With jam on its fingers.) Apparently I was wrong. I had an early 30s woman eating solo on the patio at The Restaurant the other day, and as I was clearing her table, she asked – rather suddenly, and with shockingly little pre-amble, whether or not I had a hairy chest. To be sure… this is not as bad as some of the lewd things said to my female comrades, nor was it accompanied by any lascivious hand-motions, but it was still rather arresting. Especially since I actually have about as much chest hair as a bowling ball, and could think of no other thing to say than the truth at that moment in time. After a brief awkward pause I asked, admittedly VERY nervously, if she’d like any dessert now… the cheesecake was on special.

Having a Ball

I’m drawn to sports like moths to flames, magnets to fridges and athletes to intro psych. So when I came to the realization that there was an event with the word “World” in its title occurring in my very own city, the chances of me not attending resembled those of Paris Hilton being awarded a PhD in the philosophy of language. Thus, scouring the interweb I managed to snare a ticket for a number of games. The first two games were today – Costa Rica vs. Japan, and Nigeria vs. Scotland.

I will admit right off the bat. When it comes to international soccer, my preference ranks thusly: Canada, Argentina, Australia… anyone else… Germany. Since none of those four teams were involved in the games I was about to watch, I was pretty well free to choose who to support however randomly I felt like. I immediately discounted Scotland. Nothing against the country, but it would be like rooting for paisley – the boring and obvious choice. I then eliminated Japan on the basis that being held in a city closer to Tokyo than Halifax, they’d probably have plenty of support already. (Ed’s Note: He made up that ‘fact’ about geography… and didn’t bother to check it. Its probably not true.) Thus I was left with global soccer superpowers Costa Rica and Nigeria.

Thanks to pure fluke chance, the captain of Nigeria happens to be called “Ezekiel Bala”. First of all, it appears that the Nigerian squad has simply rifled through Jesus’ contemporaries to field their squad. The team featured the aforementioned Ezekiel, a Solomon, two guys named Moses and someone with the first name ‘Blessing’. Clearly, God had chosen his standard-bearers for this tourney. And who am I to disagree with him? Secondly… Bala is the name of the Ontario town where I spent my formative summers. So, in effect, the team captain’s name was “God’s Man Childhood Memories”. Rooting against him would be like rooting against oxygen. Finally, their flag featured green and white. I had green shorts, a white dress shirt a green tie that would easily serve as a bandana. I could dress like a fan. A fan who may have looked like an IBM office-party, to be fair, but a fan nonetheless.

Thus, Nigeria it was. I was gratified upon my arrival at the stadium to find that the entire row behind me was filled with Nigeria fans – one of whom asked me if that was “really all the green I had”. And outside of them and a vocal pocket on the opposite side of the field, we were in the clear minority: for the Scotland-Nigeria match, plaid was rad. This shouldn’t have surprised me, considering I’m on the British Isle that just happened to accidentally drift across the Atlantic Ocean, Quebec and the Prairies before coming to roost off the coast of BC. However – first things first. The Japan/Costa Rica game was a tightly contested and fun match, which Japan took by a 1-nil score. I also managed to capture the goal about 2 seconds before it happened, in a slightly blurry but very well timed photo. (On a side note, I have just opened up a ‘Flickr’ account to upload and share photos. I have yet to put it into use, but as with all things computer, it’ll eventually appear and chew up even more of my spare time, leading to my eventually being as active – and well-adjusted – as a three-toed sloth.)

 

In any case, the game was a blast, but the real fun was just about to start. Have you ever wondered what the fans are chanting while at sports games? I know I have. Now, I have answers. In short: nothing too stellar. “Put it in the Net” was a favourite. As was “Bala!! Bala!!” for our old friend Ezekiel. So was a bizarre “Enh?” noise that we delighted in yelling at the Scotsmen. Finally, and this may have been unique to my own section, a modified version of Lennon, as we chanted “All we are saying… is give us a goal.” I am pleased as punch to report that Bala had a dynamite game, fully rewarding my (and the Real Big Guy’s) faith in him by scoring both Nigeria goals in a 2-nil victory.

With the tickets being sold mostly in packages, I have the same fanbase around me for the next two games I get to attend: Zambia vs. Uruguay is on Saturday (is this a great tournament, or what? Seriously… when else, ever, would those two countries meet in a sentence. “Hey Zam… what’s new?” “Oh, not much… must have been, what, since pre-colonial we last spoke?”) and a Round 2 game on Wednesday, with participants yet to be determined. And I’ll try to find some less embarassing green to wear for that game. I promise. And don’t worry… I don’t mention that I know any of you.

(Oh… and I also got a VERY blurry photo taken with a member of the Japanese U20 team on my way out of the stadium… but that’ll have to wait for Flickr to be seen. )

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Filed under U20 World Cup, Victoria